American psychologist on the basis of personalresearch has developed a theory of "5 stages of making the inevitable." Elizabeth Kubler-Ross described it in the book "On Death and Dying" (1969). Initially, this theory dealt with the topic of leaving close people and was a separation of the state of a mourner for periods.
The effectiveness of the concept entailedthe transformation of its original purpose, depending on various complex life situations. They can be the following: divorce, illness, trauma, material damage, etc.
If a person learns of his illness or severeailment of people close to him, then the state of shock follows. Information is heavy and unexpected, so there is a denial. A person believes that this could not happen with him, refuses to believe in his involvement. He tries to isolate himself from the situation, pretend that everything is normal, and also closes in himself, refuses to talk about the problem. These are signs of the first stage of the 5 stages of acceptance of the inevitable.
This behavior can be conscious or not,but it is caused by the lack of faith in the tragedy that has occurred. Man is engaged in the maximum suppression of his experiences and emotions. And when it is no longer possible to restrain them, he enters the next stage of grief.
A person is angry that his fate is cruel andIt is unfair: it can be angry at yourself, surrounding people and the situation in its abstract representation. It is very important to treat him with gentleness and patience, because grief is the cause of this behavior. This is the second stage of the 5 stages of adoption of the inevitable.
The psychology of man consists in a gradualawareness and perception of the situation, which is accompanied by wear of disguise and the repetition of pain. He does not feel that he is ready for what happened, therefore he becomes furious: he is angry with other people, with objects around him, with family members, with friends, with God, with his studies. In fact, the victim of circumstances has an understanding of the innocence of others, but it becomes impossible to reconcile with this. Grief is a purely personal process and each takes place individually.
For this period, stay in thenaive and desperate hope that all troubles will disappear, and life will once again become the same. If the experiences are related to the breakdown of relations, then staying at this stage is reduced to attempts to negotiate with the former partner, to pleas for the last chance or friendship.
A person carries out helpless attempts to bring the situation under control. It boils down to the phrase "if we ...":
- ... got to another specialist;
"... did not go there;
"... did it;
- ... took advice from a friend, etc.
Noteworthy is the desire to concludea deal with the higher powers, and also promise and repent in the name of extending the inevitable. A person can start looking for some signs of fate, believing in signs. For example, if you make a wish, open any page of the book and do not look at an arbitrary word that proves to be affirmative, then the troubles will go away on their own.
Man is in a state of completehopelessness, since it already understands the senselessness of the efforts spent to change the situation. His hands fall, life loses meaning, all expectations turn into disappointments.
In case of loss, depression manifests itself in two ways:
This is the fourth stage of the 5 stages of acceptance of the inevitable.
At the final stage, a person is able to experiencerelief. He admits that grief has happened in his life, he agrees to accept this and continue his journey. For each, there is a peculiar experience of these stages, and it happens that the stages are not in the specified sequence. Some period can take only half an hour, completely disappear or be worked out for a very long time. Such things happen purely individually.
Adoption is the final stage, the end of tormentand suffering. Suddenness greatly complicates the realization of grief afterwards. Often there is such a thing, that the forces to accept the situation are completely absent. At the same time, there is no need to show courage, because as a result one must submit to fate and circumstances, to pass everything through and to find peace. Not every person is able to go through all five stages of making the inevitable.
The fifth stage is very personal and special, becauseno one is able to save man from suffering, except himself. Other people can support in a difficult period, but they do not understand the full extent of other people's feelings and emotions.
5 stages of acceptance of the inevitable - these are purely personalexperience and experience that transforms a person: breaks it, leaves it forever in one of the stages or makes it stronger. Do not run and hide from grief, you need to realize it. It is recommended to imagine how it flows through the body. The result is the removal of the lock, the acceleration of the transition to the last level and the process of healing. These five stages of making the inevitable are designed to show people experiencing life's hardships what is happening to them.
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